Breaking Free: Redefining Love and Self-Worth

I’ll never forget the day my mother-in-law, while packing her husband’s lunch, casually asked if I packed Michael’s. I admitted I don’t, bracing for judgment.

Instead, she surprised me:

“Good. Don’t start. If you do, he’ll expect it forever.”

That moment hit me hard. Before Michael, I had been in a relationship where I was expected to do everything—cook, clean, clip his toenails, chauffeur him around, pay the bills, perform sexual favors on demand, and obey commands without question.

Basically, I was a live-in maid with no benefits. But yet, I did it all. And with a smile on my face at that, because I thought if I sacrificed enough, I’d finally be loved the way I so desperately craved.

The Endless Cycle of Overgiving

Yet, no matter how much I gave, it was never enough. I was still cheated on. Still abused. Still left feeling like I wasn’t worth a damn. I had been taught that love had to be earned like some demented rewards program. Except no matter how many points I racked up, I never had enough for the prizes on the top shelf.

So when Michael and I first got together, I carried that same script into our relationship. Not because he demanded it, but because I literally didn’t know how to function without overgiving. I thought being a good girlfriend meant turning into a one-woman domestic task force.

The Moment of Awakening

That was until one day, he had the audacity to tell me he didn’t want me washing his clothes anymore….

He even suggested…

✨wait for it✨

…that he could cook for himself.

Let me tell you, I was offended. I mistook his self-sufficiency as an attack on my worth.

If I’m not doing everything, what value do I even bring?

Looking back, I see the truth: He wasn’t rejecting me. He was freeing me.

Michael saw my worth beyond what I could do for him. He wanted a partner, not a servant.

Learning to Let Go

That realization didn’t hit me all at once. At first, stepping back felt like a personal betrayal. I had spent so long defining my value by how much I could give that doing less felt lightweight illegal.

But when I finally let go, I felt something I hadn’t in years: relief.

It was like I had been carrying a double-loader washing machine on my back for years, and someone finally told me, “Hey dumbass, you know you can just, like… put that down?”

Of course, that freedom came with withdrawals. I had to sit face to face with the empty space where my over-functioning used to be. And you know what’s uncomfortable AF? Having free time when you’ve spent your whole life up until now trying to prove you’re “useful.”

The Shift That Changed Everything

It was In that space, something incredible happened: I grew. And so did Michael.

The more I let go, the more he naturally stepped up. Not out of obligation, but because there was finally room for him to do so. And in return, he gave me something I had never truly experienced before:

The freedom to just be.

I started making decisions based on what felt right for me instead of what I thought others expected. I set boundaries (which used to feel like I was personally offending people). I prioritized self-care (without feeling like I had to “earn” it). And I finally realized my worth wasn’t measured by my ability to serve.

And guess what? Our love didn’t suffer—it thrived.

Not because I was checking off some imaginary “perfect girlfriend” checklist, but because we were both showing up as the best versions of ourselves.Fully balanced. Fully present. Fully in love.

A Partnership Built on True Love

Together, we built an actual partnership. One where both of us contribute in meaningful ways. One where mental and emotional labor is shared, where respect is mutual, and where love isn’t about perfection; it’s about loyalty, patience, and the freedom to be completely ourselves.

And this shift? It didn’t just change our relationship, it changed my entire damn life.

Once I stopped defining myself by what I could do for others, I realized just how much I had been neglecting myself. The way I approached my career, my friendships, my self-worth… it all had no choice but to evolve.

I stopped hiding behind the role of The Giver and stepped into The Creator of My Own Destiny. I realized I could love, support, and uplift others without self-sacrificing like I was auditioning for sainthood.

And that?

That’s empowerment at its core.

Are You Ready to Put Down the Weight?

Through this journey, I learned to value myself in a way I never had before. And I realized I never needed a relationship to validate me in the first place.

Michael is just the cherry on top of an already delicious ice cream sundae.

I was never missing anything.

I’ve always had everything I needed inside of me.

Michael simply gave me a safe space to put the pieces together. And in doing so, I finally became the woman I was always meant to be…

Fierce. Free. And unapologetically myself.

So if you’re reading this, I have a question for you:

Are you still carrying the weight of expectations that were never yours to begin with?

The pressure to be everything for everyone, even at the cost of yourself?

What would happen if you put that weight down?

Because I promise you… on the other side of that is a version of you who is freer, lighter, and more powerful than you’ve ever known.

She’s just waiting for you to choose her.